


You Make It Worth It

by cubedcoffeecake



Series: The Call [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Depression, Gen, Happy Ending, M/M, Poor Self Care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 01:23:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17336015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cubedcoffeecake/pseuds/cubedcoffeecake
Summary: “And what does the world have to offer on this fine afternoon to give me any desire to see it, when I could just conserve my energy and stare at the equally worthless walls in here?”Kylo wasn’t waiting on the steps when Hux came home—but he wasn’tnotwaiting, either.





	You Make It Worth It

**Author's Note:**

> Well, there hasn’t really been much of a reaction to the fic this follows, but the wonderful Twitch left a comment and the kudos it got were from people I respect a lot and somehow, despite all of my WIPs, that inspired my brain to give this a sequel.
> 
> Kylo’s POV, and the what-comes-next! I hope y’all enjoy. (:

Kylo let his head fall back against the wall, ignoring the sound of glass breaking as his beer fell from loose fingers. The old wooden chair creaked under his weight, but he ignored that to. He did that a lot—ignore. His mum’s calls, Phasma’s texts; but most notably right now, the calls of the gas station he’d barely managed to convince to hire him. Seemed the elderly owner had been right about him after all. Only two months passed before Kylo just stopped showing up.

He was distantly bothered by the way his hair hung limply, greasy enough for the strands to be straightened. To shower would mean to move forward, though; and the fear of a “next” emptier than the present kept him still in the chair.

Some time later the lock turned in the front door. The screen door crashed into the wall, accompanied by Rey’s muttering as she hauled in several large sacks of groceries. Kylo could feel the moment her gaze fell on him even before hearing her sigh. He tensed, dreading the sound of footsteps approaching him that came a moment later.

“I cannot fucking believe that you are really doing this to yourself.”

“Hello, Rey. Who am I disappointing today? The memory of my mother, my father, my uncle, or—“

“You haven’t even left this chair in a day, have you?”

He gestured to the pieces of beer bottle on the floor, the puddle of relatively fresh apparent. Rey didn’t appear impressed.

“I suppose it’s not surprising that you haven’t left the house in a week, but really, man. I am not your babysitter. It’s bad enough I’m coming out here to bring you groceries.”

“Oh?” he snapped. “And what does the world have to offer on this fine afternoon to give me any desire to see it, when I could just conserve my energy and stare at the equally worthless walls in here?”

A few years ago, his swarming, all-consuming negativity had caught Rey off guard every time. It baffled and distressed her in equal measure to hear how little joy he took in living; how bleak the world was through his eyes. Honestly, he’d enjoy to have those days back. Now she treated him like a child, patiently going through the motions of life for him while waiting for something to change in him.

Nothing was going to fucking change. His life was the exact same as it had been since he was 18–though maybe, _maybe_ it could be argued he’d grown even more sick of it than he had been back then.

“If you had gone outside lately, you would’ve noticed your neighbor move in.”

He rolled his eyes.

“Like I give a damn.”

The bustle in the kitchen stilled, and a moment later Rey was back in his line of vision. She crouched down on the floor and he groaned, making sure she couldn’t possibly miss how little he wanted to hear whatever lecture she had prepared.

“You hate your life because you don’t think there’s anything in it worth living for—but you don’t even try to _find_ something to live for! You’ve just rolled over and accepted misery.”

“Yup.” He’d accentuate that with a swig of beer if he still had a bottle in hand.

“Fine,” Rey yelled. “I guess I wouldn’t even wish you upon him.”

Kylo stared after her as she went back to the kitchen, hardly believing his ears.

“You wanted to _set me up_ with the new neighbor?!”

“You seemed to get along well enough when we were kids,” she replied icily. He hadn’t had a chance to register her words fully before the screen door was slamming, leaving the house silent once more.

The only empty house on their block was the Huxes’.

It took Kylo two hours to shower, wash his clothes, settle on an outfit, arrange his hair such that he was happy with it, and get a meal on his stomach so he’d be less likely to throw up from the nerves. Then, just as he was reaching for the doorknob to go say hi to Tidge, he realized all at once that it was too late for house calls. Night had fallen, and Tidge could be asleep for all Kylo knew.

Demoralized, he tumbled into bed still wearing the clothes he’d picked out.

The next morning the whole cycle repeated, and finally, he found himself standing on the doorstep of the old Hux house. His hands shook as he knocked, and he realized that he had no fucking idea what to say. He just…

He knew that he’d never moved on. Never grown up. Never changed. He was still the same he’d been when he bid his childhood friend goodbye, and that was pathetic, and it meant that while the thought of talking to Tidge felt natural, the reality probably wouldn’t be.

While Kylo stayed right here and did nothing with himself, Tidge was off in the military; undoubtedly making a lot of himself. There wasn’t a thing Tidge touched that he was anything less than great at.

He wouldn’t be the same kid Kylo had known—but Kylo would be. Tidge had outgrown him on a hopeless level. This was… stupid. Fuck, _Kylo_ was stupid.

Just as he turned to leave, a hand caught his forearm. He snapped his gaze up and met too-familiar pale green eyes.

“Hi,” Kylo whispered, a touch too late to be casual.

“Hi,” he replied just as quietly. His lips turned up in a smile, Tidge’s entire face crinkling to accommodate it. Suddenly, Kylo knew what to do. It seemed more clear to him than anything he’d known his whole life.

Within more delay, he leaned forward and pressed their lips together.

Tidge leaned into it. Their eyes stayed open and locked and their bodies picked up the act as if they’d last kissed that morning. One of Tidge’s hands came to rest on Kylo’s cheek, and Kylo reached around to hug his waist.

For the first time in ages, he was pleased with the way he’d spent his time—Tidge seemed to love the muscle definition everywhere he put his hand. The one not on his face made its way along his pecs to rest on his bicep; Hux’s eyes finally fluttering shut as he wrapped his fingers as far around Kylo’s arm as they could and tightened his grip.

It was Kylo who pulled away a moment—an eternity—later; but it was Tidge who spoke first.

“Were you waiting?”

“For what?”

“Were you waiting for me?”

Suddenly, bright as day, he remembered his promise.

All of the years he’d called “wasted” didn’t seem so pointless anymore.

  
  
  
  
  


 

“ _Yes_.”


End file.
